Disconnected from your Desires?

A few weeks ago I was in session with a client. She was experiencing the overwhelming, high intensity mood shift and emotions that can come in the pre-bleed time of her cycle. This time of the hormonal cycle is a time that I call the “truth” phase. It can show us - often in painful ways - things in our life that we have been tolerating that we shouldn’t be or don’t want to be. Our irritation, our anger, our rage has something to show us about the bullshit we’re letting into our lives. 

In the moment of this time, in the intensity of the emotion, it can be incredibly hard to discern what exactly it is though - during that phase it feels like EVERYTHING. 

As we talked further, it started to become more clear to me what some of the dynamic was for her. And it’s something that so many women do that keeps them disconnected from their own desires. 

She was people-pleasing. She was taking action and making decisions based on what she thought somebody else might want her to do, what their reaction to her action might be, what their judgement of her might look like. 

And we have all done this - We have told ourselves incredibly elaborate stories about what someone else thinks and feels and what their reaction to us will be.

It can paralyze us from taking any action. Or we’ll be taking action that mis-aligned with our true desires.

For this client, it was trickling through and causing so much disruption in her life. Her mind was constantly spinning and she was reaching for numbing pleasure in food, staying up too late, and having the glass of wine she didn’t really want.

What this really does is separates us from ourselves. When we are in a state of trying to figure out what someone else wants, we are deeply disconnected from what we want. 

This disconnect will affect everything - it will affect our hormones, our fertility, and the leadership of our own lives. 

We must begin the practice of asking ourselves “What do I really want right now?”

You are important, you are worthy of your desires. 

It is time to reconnect to yourself.